The Latest from the planet Aldebaran located in the Alpha Taurus Star System
In today’s news, Penelope Pit-Bots, the crime prevention robots, have had a great deal of success in rehabilitating white collar criminals. The bots are used at minimum security facilities which house petty thieves serving sentences of 6 months or less. Official reports reveal that in one incident, a Penelope Pit-Bot tackled an inmate , pinning him to the ground because he put a paper plate in the plastic recycling bin. In another incident a Penelope Pit-Bot shrieked like a banshee and netted an inmate after he took two pieces of candy from a dish clearly marked “take one”. Exit surveys of inmates released from these facilities show that 93% have no desire to bounce a check, 96% have no desire to shoplift, and 100% have no desire to date anyone named Penelope.
Intergalactic Newswire 
I think I like Penelope very much. Very creative and funny.