Archive | November, 2011

Music For Any Occassion

19 Nov

Clothing made from a new material which incorporates fibers from singing trees of the planet Sangari, which is located in the Comet Galaxy, is gaining popularity.  With movement, these ‘singing clothes’ make melodies, harmonies or sing.

Several clothing companies have created new lines using musical fabrics.  Rock Rags, Melodic Mods and Techno Tees are the top brands while JazzE Jackets and Hip Hop Hats are gaining popularity. With a boom in sales, public places are filled with music from the Sangarians wearing these clothes.

For customers wanting quieter garments, one company, TuneWear, has designed a new line which only plays music in response to certain events.  Their punk rock pajamas only play music in the presence of other punk rock pajamas making it a hit at sleepovers.  The line may still need a little work. One Sangarian, Mikkri Bryxn, told Newswire  she had to return her garment after colleagues started ‘accidentally’ spilling things on her so they could hear her Showtune Shirt perform Singing in the Rain.

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Robots A Success

14 Nov

The Latest from the planet Aldebaran located in the Alpha Taurus Star System

In today’s news, Penelope Pit-Bots, the crime prevention robots, have had a great deal of success in rehabilitating white collar criminals.  The bots are used at minimum security facilities which house petty thieves serving sentences of 6 months or less. Official reports reveal that in one incident, a Penelope Pit-Bot tackled an inmate , pinning him to the ground because he put a paper plate in the  plastic recycling bin. In another incident a Penelope Pit-Bot shrieked like a banshee and netted an inmate after he took two pieces of candy from a dish clearly marked “take one”.   Exit surveys of inmates released from these facilities show that 93% have no desire to bounce a check,  96% have no desire to shoplift, and 100% have no desire to date anyone named Penelope.